Casey Anthony: Defining the Dirtbag

Note the term "Dirt" as opposed to "Douche".

Douchebag, in my opinion, is highly overused and has reached vocabulary saturation. Dirtbag, on the other hand, has never been overused (except by my father), and represents the abundance of dirty men infiltrating today's dating pool - Loser guys who just can't get their shit together, thus wreaking emotional havoc on unsuspecting women.

Whether he is an obvious dirt bag^^ ..

{random google search for "dirtbag"}

{Scott Disick}

.. Or he cleverly hides his dirtbaggyness behind Ralph Lauren collars and perfectly coiffed hair ...

Dirtbags are everywhere!

You've encountered a d-bag if one or more of the following rings true:

*He's on and off unemployed for an extended period of time

and/or

*He treats the women in his life (either mom/sister/gf/wife) like *$#%

and/or

*He has anger problems (random lash outs and flip-switch behaviour)

and/or

*He takes no responsibility for his actions

and/or

*He has no long term goals, aspirations, or anything tangible to show for himself

and/or

*He's still living at home past the age of 25 - and it ain't 'cause he's in med school

and/or

*He gets ridiculously drunk/high on a regular basis

I've had the misfortune of crossing paths with many a dirtbag throughout my quarter century existence. Now that I've made my mistakes and learned my lessons, it pains me to see that the number of dirtbags is multiplying exponentially! I see them poisoning other women in my life; nice women, women that deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Heck, even if these dirtbags aren't upsetting women; even if they're single .. they're still a giant lump of wasted skin!

So without going all 80s feminist bra-burning on your ass .. Let me take this time to say ...

DIRTBAGS BE GONE!!!!

Undateable, by Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle

Undeniable, dirtbag deal breakers the book brings to light:

* Grousing about the cost of the meal or neglecting to tip is a no-no. "You don't need to be swimming in cash, but don't drive 10 blocks to avoid a $7 valet charge and force your date to walk in heels."

*Being a mama's boy isn't sexy. "Spending 45 minutes talking about how your mother is a great gal is really, really, bad. After a certain age, it's creepy, not endearing."

*Looking overly buff, too tan, and extra gelled may work for the guys of Jersey Shore, but for the rest of the species, not so much. It says, "I'm a diva".

*Using phrases like bee-yatch, buttload, chillaxin', knockers, or peace out. Cool slang? No. A major turn-0ff? YES.

***

Top Five Celebrity Dirtbags:

#5 Spencer Pratt