Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
Nov. 8, 2010

Nothing like Monday morning back at work ... Most days I can deal with it but today I'm having a "blah" day, where I question how I'm spending 40 hours a week, questioning my drive/ambition, and questioning how I'm ultimately living my life. I know, I know - it's really quite deep.
Every few months I go through this though ... wondering how I'm going to make my life extraordinary; I refuse to fade into the background like the majority of those around me .. but how to rise above the infinite cesspool of mediocrity and prove that I have "made it"?
"Sometimes you have to do what you DON"T want to do, so that one day you can do what you WANT to do"
At times like this, I do remember and recite this quote over and over. That if I keep doing what I'm doing I'll get to where I want to be.
I work around, arguably, some of the most highly paid and educated people in the city, so it makes it even harder when I examine where I am myself presently.
I just want to be "there" right now. Isn't life just a journey, aren't we constantly living for the future, thinking of where we want to be? Maybe it's true that if we spend too much time concentrating on the future we miss out on the present. All I know is I can't wait to be doing what I want, and not what I need. I wish I could do school full time, get what I want and start living. I wish my life had a fast forward button ....